The Merriam Webster dictionary defines synergy as “a mutually advantageous conjunction or compatibility of distinct business participants or elements (as resources or efforts)”

Anyone with any experience in a workplace will know it as a management buzzword that smacks of horseshit. When asked to define what synergy is you would invariably get the reply “1 + 1 = 3″

Not very helpful is it?

Synergy always annoyed me probably because like most people I didn’t understand or want to know the concept but it hit me like a ton of bricks over in the pub last night. Let me explain:

As it’s near christmas time, drink flows freely and occassionally a sing song might start up. Well last night one of three brothers started a song. When he was finished the second brother sang a song. This put the third brother under a bit of pressure to sing a song so he felt he has no choice so he eventually sang a song too.

There you go, Synergy!

1 brother singing + 1 brother singing = 3 brothers singing. 1 + 1 =3!

Now how to apply that to the business world without resorting to blackmail is anyones guess.

It’s another lottery scam this time from Germany. From “State Lottery Agent BOESCHE” to be exact. It arrived by air mail and has a pre-paid air mail envelope included with which to send your “entry” back.

Included is the usual literature one would expect. Cover letter, participation certificate, glossy flyer etc.

What makes this one interesting is that the lottery itself is genuine it’s just that BOESCHE are agents and promise to enter you into the draw for a fee of course.

The fees in question range from €40 to €62.50. Also worth noting is those fees are per month so if you happen to send off your credit card number you can expect to be fleeced each each month.

As is usual with these things, while they provide you with ample payment methods to part with your cash, there are absolutely no terms and conditions attached. None, zip, nada. The only stipulation of any kind is a small subtext requiring your date of birth as “you are not allowed to enter until the age of 18″

If there is no small print then there is no guarantee that of your winnings or no guarantee that your credit card will not  be maxed out either.

It is worth nothing what the New Zealand Ministry of Consumer Affairs have to say about these lottery propositions so I will quote what they have to say here:

There are several operators, mainly from European countries, that appear to offer New Zealand consumers the opportunity to purchase tickets in legitimate lotteries run in the United Kingdom, Germany and Canada, for example. These operators ask consumers to send funds in advance (or credit card information) which will be used by the operator to purchase tickets in these lotteries. Consumers usually don’t receive the tickets but instead receive statements providing information about the prize draw and any “winnings”.

The concerns are:

• that the ticket prices are far higher than face value of the actual lottery ticket price,
• information from the operator may not state you become part of a syndicate (or the size of that syndicate)
• the consumer has no information on whether the funds they are sending are applied to purchasing tickets, or
• the consumer has no information that the small “winnings” they may receive from time to time are from actual prize payouts and not from other consumers ticket purchase funds.

Beware! If you get one just throw it in the bin.

And finally, and I never thought I would say this:

• Where is James Allen? Come back! All is forgiven!

Anglo Irish Bank’s annual report released today states that it loaned €451m to 10 clients that are now more commonly referred to as “The Golden 10″. As anyone can tell you, 450 million is a significantally more than the previous estimate of €300m.

And here is the kicker – €83m has been repaid and the bank are expecting to strike out the rest of the debt. 300 million gone just like that! 10 people who owe money to a bank that the people of Ireland now effectively own don’t have to pay any of it back and the Minister of Finance refuses to name them!

If one of us owed a red fucking penny to the revenue commissioners our names would be in the tax defaulters list of every national newspaper!

That stupid ignoramus from Co. Offlay claims it is in the national interests as the debtors are shareholders. Well if they are shareholders in the bank and they owe it so much money and won’t be paying it back take the fucking shares off them! And Mary Coughlan, when you said yesterday that it “would damage confidence in Irish banks” you can just fuck off back to Donegal and crawl back under the rock you crawled from. Are you actually that thick fucking stupid that you think that there already hasn’t been a serious loss of confidence in Irish banks?

That statement alone from Coughlan instantly proves you; Fianna Fail haven’t one iota of what is actually happening to the country. You seem to be so preoccupied with balance sheets and our standing in the international community that you seem to have forgotten about us. The ordinary people. The ordinary people that are losing their homes their jobs and the ordinary people who are ending up in prison because they can’t pay their television license.

Well, Brian Cowen, Mary Coughlan and the two idiotic green party lapdogs of yours. Let me give you a sound piece of advice.

Fuck the international community. At least until you get your own house in order because that is exactly what other countries are doing. They have their own problems too you know and they really couldn’t care about us at the moment. Or anyone else but themselves for that matter. And this is probably the right thing to do. We can all kiss and make up when this all blows over in a few years when we are all learning to walk again. And anyway what have you got to lose at this stage?

It’s a poisoned chalice but drink from it you fuckers. Drink long and hard and deep for the sake of those of us who have to live in the mess that you have created. Take it on the chin and get us out of it. And if that means calling a general election and losing control of government just do it anyway for all of our sakes.

We want someone to get us through this and time and time again you have proven that you are not the right people for the job.

Edit – Just to put things into perspective, €300m being written off the books is the the exact same as 1200 homeowners with a mortgage of €250,000.

So who is fooling who?

Have a look at this:

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/02/bushfires_in_victoria_australi.html

They have an RSS feed for their Big Picture series and it is well worth subscribing to.

Time and time again the photos they pick are utterly incredible. Not least of all because they are of a decent resolution and of amazing quality but they are extremely thought provoking. They seem to provide the missing link for where the printed media meets the internet. (Despite that fact that  the images are often from the same sources) However their Big Picture series always takes the form of a photo essay, which I reckon is the feature’s strongest point: Pictures can speak more than words.

The series linked to above are of the recent bush fires in Australia and pictures really do speak more than words in this case. And certainly speak more than any 226px × 180px image that doesn’t link to a more detailed picture can. Or for that matter a 102px × 130px picture that links to nothing on a site that is optimised for a resolution of 640 x 480 ever can.